A spokesman for the BBC said, "It is a good thing that Ross has gone. Now that he has quit our available budget has increased five hundred percent which means we can spend it on creating some decent programmes rather than blowing it all on one Friday night show where the host speaks about himself more than the guests do. Plus he wasn't doing the Jewish stereotype much good with a salary like that.
"The thought of creating a half decent drama series is very exciting," he added.
"Where's my money?"
Many are saying we are in desperate need for such programmes. The BBC's recent revival or sci-fi horror series Day of the Triffids met much criticism. Alan Jackson from Wales said, "I tuned in because I like Eddie Izzard when he's serious, you see. He has a likeable, mean quality to him. I started getting sceptical when they introduced the tired global warming theme, but I gave it the benefit of the doubt."However, the ball was dropped dead for me when he saved himself from an aeroplane crash by stealing life jackets and inflating them in the toilet of the plane. Oh really? Why didn't they try that on United-93, eh? Instead of trying to kill the bloody hijackers!
"I turned it off halfway through because I realised that all I was doing was watching two enormous tits running around a sea of blind people and deadly plants that don't exist whilst acting really badly. I thought, y'know what, I'm worth more than this. I deserve better! I do. Not Jonathan Ross. Me!"
The BBC commented on this situation saying, "Yes, the incredibly bad dramas we have been putting out that are trying so desperately to be American HBO extravaganzas will stop, we promise you that. We were merely buying time until Ross cleared off. I mean come on, did you think we were serious when we cast Tamzin Outhwaite in a series about theoretical spaceotemporal physics?
"Of course not! She's from Ilford. Now we have the money we can get someone decent like Nicholas Cage...or Keanu Reeves."
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