David Starkey's New Britain gets Green Light

In a new television series the presenter and historian David Starkey, is turning his attention to how he would like to see Britain run - with whips, torture facilities and "prole curfews".

The 65 year old Cambridge graduate has decided to focus upon the future instead of the past in his new series "because people need to wake up," he said.

Remember kids, "Arbeit Macht Frei!"

"It has been an age since this country, what was the greatest empire in the world, has been managed properly," he ranted. "Can no one see the utter chaos that has ensued since unionisation, benefit allowances and converting the Tower of London into a tourist attraction?"

The new series, which will be aired on Channel 4, will last for six shows, each concentrating on a different sect of society with a lower financial income than Starkey's. He admits that the episodes are quite formulaic; they will all open with a description of the "putrid people in question", then explain how they uniquely "make this country scummy" and finally describe the measures that would be taken in Starkey's Britain "to remove them from the face of God's good, green country."

Due to the success of Starkey's previous television series on the Tudor period, a larger budget has been at his disposal this time around, which he has spent on dramatic envisions of his future. Producer Paul Jackson said, "Most of the things he's asked for such as armoured police outfits, black and Asian people, and tear gas is readily available. So he's pretty easy to work with and gets on well with the guys in charge of props.

"Although, he did ask for a fully sized, functioning guillotine, which caused some problems at first. We asked him where in the script there is a flashback to Tudor Britain and he just looked at us blankly and said, 'There isn't.'"

Starkey has also suggested that the DVD of the series will contain a bonus episode which takes a closer look at "feral children". "It's a bit of a venture for me," he said, "into more David Attenborough territory.

"But it is still fresh. Attenborough doesn't yell derogatory, snobberies at the animals in Life, does he?"

The DVD will be released on 20th April by Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei Media, Ltd.