BBC4 to Ban Rational Opinions

The BBC have announced that its Today programme on Radio 4 will accept only views or opinions that make absolutely no logical sense.

Controversy was sparked when certain atheists complained that their views were not being heard on the "Thought for a Day" section the programme. A part traditionally reserved for people of different religious beliefs to air their opinions.

Against criticism and accusations of breaching various broadcasting regulations the BBC have held their ground claiming that the complaints have been sourced from confusion. BBC spokesman Jake Lyndhall said, "I feel the issue is being misconstrued, it is not about atheists specifically but simply that their views make perfect sense. The "Thought for a Day" section of the Today programme is exclusively for people who like to make up anything they want based on absolutely nothing and speak about it as if it is a hard, respectable fact.

"Think of it as a kind of diplomatic whilst extremely patronising peace treaty," he added, "it has saved a lot of lives. In fact, experts agree that if we didn't allow them this fifteen minutes every morning the crusades would still be in full flow."

The BBC has now released new guidelines which are designed to clarify this issue: "Comments which reflect the nature of the universe accurately, contain scientific method or are correct are still not to be broadcast. Whereas those that mention anything ridiculous such as a God's existence, that we will eradicate the Taliban or that Evan Davis is good looking, get their opinion heard.

Furthermore, the names "Descartes", "Leibniz" and "Kant" cannot be mentioned on air for fear of suggesting clear headed thinking to listeners.

"It's a matter of choice," says Lyndhall, "just keep it stupid."