George Lucas to Flog a Dead Horse in 3D

Filmmaker George Lucas is to film himself beating a dead horse with a smug face whilst a lot of naive pricks with Buddy Holly glasses watch him, he announced this week.

3D or not, could you just piss off!

The multimillionaire announced that this new film will take "selling the same product over and over again to the next level of disgusting, talentless capitalistic greed.

"It's an exciting prospect," he added.

The movie entitled Star Wars: An Old Rope is expected to make even more money alongside its prequels...or sequels or whatever the fuck they are. Social commentator and film critic Paul Jackson laid this capital phenomena down to what he called "imbeciles" who are "so short sighted and biased that they would buy the bricks George Lucas lays in his bog on a Sunday afternoon.

"Which would actually be a more worthwhile purchase than a ticket to The Phantom Menace in 3D," he added, "At least a turd laying in the bottom of the pan won't start flying at you in the form of Ewan McGregor doing a poor impersonation of Alec Guinness."

Experts have estimated that the aforementioned movie will cause outbreaks of violence in cinemas across the world as thousands attempt to punch JarJar Binks in his stupid pink twattish face and end up hitting the person in front of them in the back of the head.

"It's led to many meetings with health and safety bodies," said Jake Lyndhall at the UK Film Council, "With any luck they'll decree the series as inciting hatred and rioting and that'll put a stop to Lucas.

"When I think of that man I have the disturbing mental image of a man raping his own child whilst holding his hand under it's mouth as it vomits currency. He really needs to be stopped."

But Lucas defends his decision, "I've made a lot of money off of one idea, and I was wondering how I could make even more. I've made three prequels that were proper monkey shit, five cartoon series, and approximately 1.3 billion videogames based on one franchise. But I didn't deter, I struggled on, I thought to myself 'How can I take this further? How can I squeeze this extraordinarily vacuous tit of some more delicious dollarmilk?'

"Then I saw Avatar and that James Cameron had made more money than an entire third world nation off the back of an overhyped gimmick and I thought 'Y'know what, that's how!'

"So I'm grabbing hold of that tit and squeezing it 'til it bleeds...go see Star Wars 3D."