Millions Mishear and Burn a Kerrang!

People all over the world have reportedly misheard Pastor Terry Jones' calls to burn a copy of the Koran on September 11th and instead have whole heartedly began setting alight to copies of teen grunge mag Kerrang!

Retro copies will definitely be burned!

Jake Lyndhall from Croydon, heard about Pastor Jones' cause on the radio, he then went and stockpiled over five hundred copies of Kerrang! magazine and invited all his friends, family and neighbours over to burn the lot.

"I heard what Pastor Jones was doing," said Mr. Lyndhall, "and I thought, 'That's a bloody great idea!' I once picked up a copy of that magazine in a Tesco Express and it was chocka full of narcissistic pricks, PR dictated music 'reviews' and general nonsensical bullshit.

"So yeah, I went out and bought south London's entire stock and thought I'd make a night of it. Loads of us are gonna have a right good laugh burning, ripping and shitting on copies of Kerrang! We've got some party games as well, such as pin-the-flaming-arrow-on-Anthony-Kiedis'-twatish-face (July '06 edition) and Kerrang! bobbing in a dirty bog."

Millions across the world have gleefully joined in with the mass destruction of the magazine unaware that the hate campaign was originally aimed at destroying the Islamic holy book, the Koran.

Professor Paul Jackson, head of Social Sciences at Stratton University commented: "The ironic thing to arise out of all of this is that burning copies of Kerrang! magazine on 9/11 makes just as much sense as burning the Koran.

"The people who flew those planes into the Twin Towers had about as much to do with Kerrang! magazine as they did with the Koran. You can attach whatever you want to a terrorist cause but at the end of the day all they're just raving bloody nutters.

"In fact if they'd said they'd done it because of Kerrang! we all would have found an interview with some mental Norwegian black metal band who supported terrorism against the US, pinned it on the entire country and maybe we would have ended that war within the same fucking year!"

Meanwhile Jake Lyndhall said, "Kor...Koran? Oh, Koran! As in the centrepiece of the Muslim religion. Ah, I see. Haha, I thought he said 'Kerrang!' Oh, haha, what a mix up! But, hang on...he wanted to...to do that? To the Koran? Oh, Jesus Christ! He's a fucking mentalist!"